Get ready to RUUUMMMMM BBBBBUUUUHHHHLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!
I'll keep it simple for the slow ones: if it walks like a douchetard, talks like a douchetard, then the logical deduction is that it IS, in fact, a douchetard.
Translation: if you soak up every post on my FB wall, every Tweet I Twitter and every word I write in my blogs and then talk smack about how I "live life online" or how I'm always "God this and God that" and how I'm "too judgmental" then YEAH, I am calling you a douchetard! That is coming from a former and recovering douchetard--cuz I used to be one, too. You just do not get it. And that's fine! But I've had enough of the smack talk behind closed doors and the namby-pamby, wimpy, whiny few who infect the logic, reason and peace of the many. So I've got a few choice words for you: GET OVER YOURSELF. "I yam who I yam and that's all that I yam." I'm going to be who I am, say what I want and live like I don't care what you think. Because I don't. If you don't like it, delete me; if you don't like what I have to say, change the channel. But don't be a chicken back hypocrite by reading all of it and then griping or talking behind my back or telling others how stupid THEY are for reading it. Grow a pair and say it to my face. Or drink a big ole cup of STFU. But don't do it for me; do it for the people who actually relate to all this and get help and encouragement from it. I realize it's an unselfish thing I'm asking of you, but hey... even the biggest douchetards are capable of a little altruism now and then. Be an idiot; it's a free country and it's your right. But you DON'T have the right to stand in the way of others.
For the record, I'm not speaking of people who debate with me or offer up different points of view. I'm talking about the wet-bellied, yellow-tailed chicken sh&%$s who don't have the courage or the character to really THINK about what I'm saying. This is because either a) they don't GET IT, or b) because what I'm saying hits a little too close to home and it hurts, Mommy! So they don't WANT to get it. (Sadly, this is the case most of the time). Because if what I'm saying is TRUE, then that makes them WRONG... and ooohhhhh now we mustn't have THAT. So they blow all the sound and fury my way because their lives are a mess and they're too immature and narcissistic to own up to it. What I say makes no sense to them, because they have no truth and live in the alternate realities they create in their minds. They're in denial; it's their only option. I GET THAT because dude, I had beachfront property on the River of Denial! I was the Donald Trump of that river's real estate empire! But that is no longer the case; I gave up the riches and glory of being Donald Trump in Psychoville to live humbly and quietly in peace and truth. But not MY truth--GOD'S! MY truth was nothing more than the rantings and ravings of a sad, sick, lost lunatic. God's truth is solid, eternal, unchangeable and unshakable--which is why it made NO sense to me for the longest time because MY truth, like all these naysayers' truths (plural, yes), was subjective, situational and relational. THE Truth is singular and the final word.
"For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. For it is written: 'I will destroy the wisdom of the wise; the intelligence of the intelligent I will frustrate.' Where is the wise man? Where is the scholar? Where is the philosopher of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? For since in the wisdom of God the world through its wisdom did not know him, God was pleased through the foolishness of what was preached to save those who believe. Jews demand miraculous signs and Greeks look for wisdom, but we preach Christ crucified: a stumbling block to Jews and foolishness to Gentiles, but to those whom God has called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength. Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: 'Let him who boasts boast in the Lord.'" (1 Corinthians 1:17-31)
Listen, I get where you are coming from. God frustrated my "intelligence" to the point of me pulling my hair out. When I was where you are, I did the same thing you are doing because it didn't make sense to me, either. Logically speaking, if you don't accept truth and reality, you have no choice but to try and make the truth NOT true. Right? So I spent a long, LOOONNNNNG time attempting that. Guess what? It didn't work. Not because I wasn't smart enough; I was just wrong. AND unwilling to admit it. Truth is truth whether you like it or not, whether you are standing on the right side of it or not. Just like right is right if nobody does it, and wrong is wrong if everyone does it. So since you can't really make the truth not true, that means the only hope you have of fixing any of it is to ACCEPT the truth and FACE REALITY. I turned 39 years old this past July 1, and I turned 15 as a Christian this past August 5. All the knowledge and intelligence I had prior to this year didn't do squat for me, evidenced in how things kept turning out the same. My life didn't change until I did what I'm suggesting YOU try: 'fess up and own your crap. I did it your way, which is "my way." We both know it sucked and didn't work; in fact, it just kept getting worse. But then I quit fighting God. And now I'm in a good place and YOUR life still sucks. So, really, who's the idiot? Me, because I won't shut up about Jesus and recovery and truth and all the rest of it? Or you, whose life is in shambles, who has lost everything and everyone you ever claimed to care about, but still yelling loudly for all to hear about how smart you are and how foolish and disillusioned I am? I've already been where you are... why don'tcha try walking in MY shoes for a little minute? I DARE YOU. Why keep yakking away and sounding more and more stupid every time you open your mouth by attacking me??? Your life is a CHOICE and it's turning out just how you are planning it... why not man up and do something different for once?
Understand, I'm not mad AT you; I am mad FOR you. Attack me all you want; love me, hate me, whatever floats your boat. But don't say it's all stupid, etc., while your life blows up in your face. That's just retarded. I was retarded once, too. Now I'm not living that way. And I am not special, God doesn't love me more than you, I'm not gifted. It was a CHOICE. I know what I know because I did it ALL WRONG first. No judgment here; just relation and grace. I found the way and I tell others. What they do with it is up to them, but I'm certainly not gonna shut up because you CHOOSE to continue to be an idiot. Don't be like I was! Shut up and THINK, for once. USE YOUR BRAIN AND NOT YOUR MOUTH!!!
Here's the dealio, folks: I'm not ashamed of being in recovery. I'm not ashamed to be a Christian, to love Jesus, to be imminently grateful for all that God has done on my behalf and of the blood, sweat, tears and HARD WORK I've put into getting well. I was SICK. Now I am WELL. I paid, and dearly, for my mistakes. I suffered a lot and lost a lot and put in a lot of hard work to get to this place. Most I've hurt have forgiven me, some haven't, but I've made my peace with ALL of it and I've forgiven myself and so has Jesus. I'm on a good path and I'm in better hands now. And I'm certainly not ashamed of sharing my thoughts and struggles and points of view about these things in a forum where it actually makes sense to people who WANT to get well, too. I don't blog this stuff for attention, accolades or because I'm bored. I do it because I know that hearing other people's stories and perspectives helped me. And if something I write or say about my experience, strength and hope helps someone else, then that's all that really matters. Not to mention that it helps ME to share and to remember what I've gone through to get to the good place I'm in.
So I write. And I speak. Because when you row another person across the river to the shore, YOU GET THERE YOURSELF.
Put another way: "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort."
That's from 2 Corinthians 1. It's why we go through things and survive it. Life is hard, people. So is marriage, love, relationships, etc. We've all got our share of skeletons, mistakes, bonehead decisions and regrets. I have MORE than my fair share. So why make it harder than it has to be by denying it all? Recovery isn't for cowards! Neither is REAL Christianity. But staying in your insanity and your comfort zone that keeps you wrong and sick IS for cowards. It takes COURAGE and STRENGTH and DETERMINATION to go from sick to well. It requires sacrifice. It requires a willingness to cut away situations and things and even people who keep you down, to replace it all with Godly, positive things to keep you on the right path. It's hard at first but trust me when I say it gets easier and it is more than worth the cost! In fact, eventually, you come to consider it all GAIN. THIS is the harder path... you might have heard it referred to as "the road less traveled."
It's easy to stay where you are. Changing your stars, turning your life around and becoming the best you that you can be is HARD. But it's SO worth it. So I have nothing but grace, respect and love for those who are willing to be wrong, admit it and fix it. I have a ZERO TOLERANCE policy and even less patience for the rest of you, especially when you want to attack or stand in the way of others who want to get better simply because you choose to stay sick.
Think what you like, but I am NOT being judgmental when I say that. I say that because I've BEEN THERE. I've DONE IT. I was the epitome of the person I describe. I was selfish, sick, retarded, addicted, lost, screwed up and effed up... **fill in the blank** and call it what you will. Now I'm not. I have my weaknesses and issues, but we ALL do. The ONLY difference is that I faced it, dealt with it and am living my life now in a manner that is according to God's wisdom and the result of someone who cares more about getting it as right as I can without repeating the same old tired crap. That's it. Progress not perfection, folks. And it's not ME. Yes, I had to show up and be willing, but I didn't do this on my own. If I could have fixed it myself I wouldn't have needed recovery. Christ brought me here. And this way, HIS way, WORKS. How's that tired old crap YOU have always been doing workin' out there for ya, Chief Know-It-All??? Don't even bother answering because I can SEE the answer for myself. Crystal clear. And yet you want me to shut it. Fat chance, buster!!!
If YOU found the cure for cancer, would you keep it to yourself???? If YOU had a boat and a life preserver and you were on the ocean in a storm and you saw people drowning, would you row on by and let them drown???? Or would you throw out the preserver and say, "Climb on in!" If YOU were lost but found your way and you saw others who were lost, would you just walk past them and let them stay in the dark going the wrong way? Or would you say, "Hey! Come with me! I found the way out!!!"
**moment of silence while the idiots think**
Ironically, the ones who gripe the loudest are the ones who are still stuck in their denial and pain. They are in chains of bondage and are PISSED at all of us who are free; PISSED because they prefer imprisonment and slavery to doing the work we must ALL do to be free. Some of them know it, some don't. Either way, I've yet to see ONE of these smack talkaz own it and do anything about it. Others, however, get something out of what I share. I know because they TELL ME SO. I get e-mails and texts and letters and phone calls about these posts thanking me for sharing what was on their minds and hearts, and ask me to keep on keeping on... So guess what? I'M NOT GONNA SHUT UP. I won't apologize for it and in fact, all you've succeeded in doing is making me want to SHOUT LOUDER AND MORE OFTEN! (Nice plan, there, cuz. Way to use that strategery.) I'll keep talking and Christ will be on my lips til my last breath, not only because I feel God is holding me responsible for speaking the truth, but because I simply don't want to. It's a free country, I think we said before? Yeah? So if you are free to moan and groan and attack and sound like an idiot, then I am just as free to say what I want and tell what I know. I'm writing and sharing for Christ, for myself and for all those who do not agree with your limited, narrow and, quite frankly, incorrect assessments.
So... to all those who don't like it??? GET OVER YOURSELF. Why don't you try actually reading these things and applying it to yourself? What can it hurt??? WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF, YA BIG CHICKEN??
And just know this: should you ever choose to shut up and putchyo money where yo mouth iz, and stop running and DEAL with things... we will all be here for you. Because we've been there and we get it. We know why you do what you do. We get why you are so mad. I, for one, don't take it personally, even though I just get SICK of it every once in a while, because I know it's not really ME you are mad at. Your problem is with Christ, the truth and reality. Should you ever figure that out, there are people, like me, who will forgive your idiocy and bring you into the fold. we won't throw it in your face, because we understand, we've been there.
Until then... I pray for you, but I don't take you seriously. I feel pity and compassion for you, and while I'm hacked off at your ig'nunce I recognize that you don't know any better. I just want you to tone it down a little. For the sake of those who want to get well. And, honestly, for YOUR sake. For pity's sake, think what you like but don't be such a hypocrite. Be informed, at the very least! Then, if you got something to say, if you want to debate, fine. I welcome that. Otherwise, you can sit on my foot and rotate before I'll stop talking about Jesus, recovery and thanking Him and praising Him and sharing with everyone who wants to know how AWESOME my life is now because I'm FREE.
