This blog is intended to be a diary, of sorts, I suppose. I'm in recovery. I participate in Celebrate Recovery at Heartsong Church in Memphis, Tenn. I am a believer who struggles with love addiction and codependency. But don't let the label fool you: I'm an addict, no more, no less.
The Bible says in Matthew, I think? Somewhere in the New Testament, I kinda suck at addresses... Anyway Jesus is quoted as saying, "For what does it profit a man to gain the entire world, but lose his own soul? And what would a man give in exchange for his soul?" Well, lemme tell ya, when it comes to acting out and trying to find ways to fill the hole that's inside each and every human being, I've tried it ALL. I lived out the last couple of decades with a "FOR SALE" sign around my neck, selling out to anything or anyone that I thought would bring me relief or fulfill my sick definition of happiness. At one point in time, I'm ashamed to say, there wasn't a damn thing I would NOT give in exchange for my soul.
Here's the kicker: there's only ONE way to have any kind of peace, contentment and joy in this life, and that is through living your life according to The Truth. For me, that is embodied in Jesus Christ. Period.
Now this blog isn't intended to push religion, Jesus or anything of the sort down anyone's throat. It's merely the thoughts and record of one person who's realized that there is more to life than self-aggrandizement, quick fixes and situational or relative ethics.
Picture a kid in a field with no fence. It's infinite... all you can see in every direction is the horizon. That might be a neat concept for a greeting card, but it does NOT work in real life. Real life requires boundaries; boundaries bring freedom. (Anyone who denies this fact is gonna get REAL UPSET reading the things I choose to share.)
No kid really wants a fence, or at least they don't THINK they do. But if you think about it, all kids feel most loved when they push a boundary and someone who has their best interests at heart PUSHES BACK. If there are never any fences, that kid is in an endless field, never knowing exactly where they are. That might be fun for a minute, but trust me... eventually, we all need to find our bearings.
For me, that fence is Jesus Christ. The Truth. And the 12 Steps and 8 Principles of recovery. When there is a fence, that means there is a boundary, like a big, blinking YOU ARE HERE sign. Even if you are on the wrong side of that fence, at least you know where you are! Then and only then can you figure out where you need to go.
Like I said, this is merely intended to be one person sharing the joys, the struggles, the victories, the defeats, the questions, the answers and anything else that comes to mind as I move along down this road of recovery. It's just one addict sharing the experience, strength and hope I'm finding along the way, hoping it helps someone else.
And make no mistake, it IS a journey. It's not a destination. If you look at it like that, you will fail.
Love, JEN
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Write for yourself, no one else. If someone wants to interpret from their view they are missing the point and that isn't your responsibility. Then they can go read somewhere else. :-) Looking forward to reading your work. You are indeed a wonderful person and talented writer!
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